Humility Builds Relationships

“Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. . . . You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.” Philippians 2:3, 5-6 (NLT)

The ability to be humble is a relationship builder. Humility is when I honor others above myself instead of demanding or clinging to my rights. 

Pride, on the other hand, destroys relationships—and it shows up in a lot of different ways. It can make me critical, judgmental, competitive, stubborn, and unforgiving. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride leads to destruction; a proud attitude brings ruin” (NCV).

Pride is also self-deceiving. When I have a problem with pride, I struggle to see it in myself. But everyone else can see it in me!

What does pride look like in a relationship? One, I always offer advice but never ask for it. Two, I can’t admit when I've had a tough week. Everybody else is saying, “Yeah, this last week was tough.” But I can’t seem to admit I have any problems.

But how does humility play out in a relationship? I need to take notice of the five relationship builders in 1 Peter 3:8: “Live in harmony, be sympathetic, love each other, have compassion, and be humble” (GW). The first four are really built on the fifth one: Be humble. This verse is an excellent model for relationships.

How does humility happen in life? It happens by letting Jesus control my thoughts, heart, attitudes, and reactions. Growing in humility has to include Jesus.

The basic law of relationships is this: I tend to become like the people I spend time with. If I spend time with grumpy people, I get grumpier. If I spend time with happy people, I get happier. If I want to have more humility, spend time with Jesus Christ in prayer and reading his Word. Just talk to him. He is humble and wants a relationship with me.

Growing in humility may seem like a tall order, but it’s possible with Jesus.So I need to take the first step toward humility and become a relationship builder today. 

In summary:

Humility is essential for building strong relationships, as modeled by Jesus in Philippians 2—though He was God, He chose humility over status. In contrast, pride damages relationships by making me critical, stubborn, and blind to my own faults. True humility means valuing others above myself and is the foundation for traits like compassion, harmony, and love. I grow in humility by spending time with Jesus, allowing Him to shape my thoughts, attitudes, and actions. As I become more like Him, I will naturally become a better relationship builder.