Learning to Get Real With Others

In Ephesians 4:23-25 it says, “Let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes. Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy. So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.” (NLT)

To change the defects in my life, I’ve got to have people in my life who tell me the truth. I’m not going to get well on my own. I’m going to need support. I’m going to need a small group.

Change requires honest community.

The things in my life I’m never going to be able to change on my own are typically the things that are the most difficult in my life. They’re also often the things I don’t want anybody else to know about.

I’m never going to get over those things until I share them with someone. I don’t have to tell everybody. I just need to find at least one person who will trust me and whom I trust—someone who will be confidential, love me unconditionally, not be judgmental, and pray for me. Revealing my feelings is the beginning of healing.

This does not mean a small group where I get together on a superficial level and everyone is “fine” or “doing great.” I have to get to the level of maturity in my small group where I can say, “I had a tough week. Life is really hard right now. Here’s what happened.”

Ephesians 4:25 says, “So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body” (NLT).

If I’m a believer, I’m also a belonger. I belong in God’s family, and every other believer belongs to me. I cannot become until I belong. I can’t become what God wants me to be until I belong in a group that’s going to have gut-level, honest community.

So put away falsehood. Talk to my neighbor. Tell my friend the truth, because we belong to each other.

If I’m serious about changing the deepest hang-ups and defects in my life, I’m going to have to face the fear of being honest. I’ve got to stop faking it. I’ve got to be real.

I can go through life one of two ways: pretending like I’ve got it all together or getting it all together. But I’ll never get it all together as long as I pretend I’ve got it all together.

In God’s family, we belong to each other. Let’s be honest with each other so we can help each other make the changes that bring health and healing.