Humility Builds Relationships

In Philippians 2:3, and 5-6 it says, “Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves . . . You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to.” (NLT)

Choosing to be humble is a relationship builder. What is humility? It’s when I honor others above myself, not always demanding or clinging to my rights. 

Pride, on the other hand, destroys relationships—and it shows up in a lot of different ways. It can make me critical, judgmental, competitive, stubborn, and unforgiving. Proverbs 16:18 says, “Pride leads to destruction; a proud attitude brings ruin” (NCV). 

Pride is also self-deceiving. When I have a problem with pride, I struggle to see it in my life. But everyone else can see it in me!  

What does pride look like in a relationship? I always offer advice but never ask for it. And I can’t admit when life is hard. Everybody else is saying, “Yeah, this last week was tough.” But I can’t seem to admit I have any problems. 

But how does humility play out in a relationship? Notice the five relationship builders in 1 Peter 3:8: “Live in harmony, be sympathetic, love each other, have compassion, and be humble” (GW). The first four are really built on the last one: Be humble. And it’s an excellent model for relationships. 

How does humility happen? It happens by letting Jesus control my thoughts, heart, attitudes, and reactions. Growing in humility has to include Jesus.

The basic law of relationships is this: I become like the people I spend time with.  If I spend time with grumpy people, I get grumpier. If I spend time with happy people, I get happier. If I want to have more humility, spend time with Jesus Christ in prayer and reading his Word. Just talk to him. He wants a relationship, and he wants to show me how he modeled humility in his life on Earth.  

Growing in humility may seem like a big task, but it’s possible with Jesus. Take the first step toward humility by getting to know Jesus, and he will help me become a relationship builder.