In Ephesians 4:29 it says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” (NIV)
Sometimes my words are like a sledgehammer. I swing away without thinking, and suddenly I look around and realize a pile of relational rubble surrounds me. When I thoughtlessly sling my words around and tear people down, my relationships are going to suffer.
But God wants me to use my words to build others up. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).
One reason I’m not effective with my words is that I don’t realize how my mouth and words are powerful, God-given tools. I say things without thinking. And people remember them.
I can still remember certain things people said to me in a careless way—even as far back as grade school. That’s how powerful words are. So when it comes to the words I say, think of them as a power tool and be extremely careful.
How can I use my mouth more carefully, so I am using it to build relationships and not to tear people down?
1. Stop making excuses. Stop saying, “I didn’t really mean to say that” or “That’s just how I am before my first cup of coffee.” Realize that what I say impacts everybody around me.
2. Talk less. We often get in trouble because we just don’t know when to stop talking. If it’s a power tool, I shouldn’t have to use it as much, right?
3. Listen more. If I listen more, I can better understand people’s needs.
4. Start building. Let my first thoughts be, “What does this person need?” “How can I use a word of encouragement to build them up?” “What can I say to make a difference in their life?”
Consider making this part of my morning prayers: “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer” (Psalm 19:14 NIV).
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