Why Do We Get Discouraged?

In Psalm 25:16 it says, “Come, Lord, and show me your mercy, for I am helpless, overwhelmed, in deep distress.” (TLB)

It seems that discouragement sets in at the midpoint of almost anything we do? It’s true in parenting, marriage, school, and in careers. But God has called us to finish the race he has prepared for us—and to finish it well.

When God put it on Nehemiah’s heart to rebuild Jerusalem after the Israelites’ returned from captivity, they began the work of rebuilding the city’s walls. But when “the wall was completed to half its height around the entire city” (Nehemiah 4:6 NLT), the people became discouraged.

The story of Nehemiah describes four common reasons people get discouraged. 

The first cause of discouragement is fatigue. Nehemiah 4:10 says, “Then the people of Judah began to complain, ‘The workers are getting tired’” (NLT). Rebuilding anything, of course, is exhausting. They had worked hard on the first half of the project, but they soon grew weary and worn down. They were more vulnerable to attacks from their enemies, physically and spiritually.

Nehemiah’s workers offer an important lesson for us today: Sometimes the most spiritual thing we can do is go to bed. Why? Because discouragement is often the result of being tired. Circumstances always look better after you’ve had a good night’s sleep. When you’ve had plenty of rest, you’re less vulnerable to self-pity, temptation, and attack from others.

The second cause of discouragement is frustration. Not only were the Israelites fatigued; they were frustrated: “There is so much rubble to be moved. We will never be able to build the wall by ourselves” (Nehemiah 4:10 NLT). The project was more complex than they thought it was going to be. The ruin and rubble of their destroyed city was almost too much to handle.

What’s the rubble in our lives? It’s whatever we keep tripping over. It’s not just physical rubble. It could be emotional, relational, or financial rubble. Or maybe it’s rubble from making bad decisions.

The thing about rubble is we will always have it in our lives. We live on a broken planet, so there’s no way to avoid it. But we can learn how to manage rubble to minimize frustration. How? By continually cleaning it out. Start by praying Psalm 25:16: “Come, Lord, and show me your mercy, for I am helpless, overwhelmed, in deep distress” (TLB).

God doesn’t want us to get discouraged and quit at the halfway point of life. He wants you and me to make it to the finish line. He’s called us to look up, not give up.

Psalm 142:3 says, “When I am ready to give up, he knows what I should do” (GNT).

The third cause of discouragement is failure. When the Israelites got to the halfway point in rebuilding Jerusalem’s walls, they wondered if they were going to succeed: “Will we ever finish this wall?” (Nehemiah 4:10 CEV). It was taking longer than expected, and they felt defeated and discouraged.

The truth is, nobody succeeds at first. The only way we succeed in life is by failing and learning what doesn’t work. Failure is the stepping stone to success. The difference between successful and unsuccessful people is this: Successful people see failure as a temporary setback. Unsuccessful people see it as a mark on their character. Proverbs 24:16 says, “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again” (NLT).

The fourth cause of discouragement is fear. Not only did Israel’s enemies ridicule the rebuilding efforts, but they also made threats: “Before they know what’s happening, we will swoop down on them and kill them and end their work” (Nehemiah 4:11 NLT). Hearing your enemies talk like that is a legitimate reason to be discouraged!

The next verse says, “The Jews who lived near the enemy came and told us again and again, ‘They will come from all directions and attack us!’” (Nehemiah 4:12 NLT) Those who lived closest to the enemy were most fearful. Why? Because they were constantly surrounded by extreme negativity.

If fear is discouraging you right now, surround yourself with good things and positive voices. Don’t pay attention to negative media. Turn it off, or you’ll only become a more frightened, paranoid, and worried person.

What is discouraging you today? Fatigue, frustrations, failure, or fear? Whatever it is, give it to God and “run with endurance the race God has set before [you]” (Hebrews 12:1 NLT).