The Six Ways God Helps Me Grieve

In Psalm 34:18 I read, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed.” (NCV)

You don’t get over a loss. You can’t go under it; you can’t go around it. You’ve got to go through the grief. And if I’m scared to express emotion and refuse to go through it, that’s where I’ll get stuck.

I can get unstuck by letting God help me. Here are six ways I’m learning on how God blesses a broken heart.

1. God draws me close to himself.

Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed” (NCV). When I grieve, God is not a million miles away, even though it may feel like it. In fact, he’s never been any closer.

2. God grieves with me.

The Bible tells us that Jesus was “a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief” (Isaiah 53:3 NLT). When I come to Jesus with my grief, he knows what I’m talking about, and he understands my pain. God is not apathetic. He is sympathetic, and he grieves with me.

3. God gives you a church family for support.

We’re meant to grieve and heal in community. We’re better together! The Bible says, “In Christ we, though many, form one body, and each member belongs to all the others . . . Be devoted to one another in love . . . Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn” (Romans 12:5, 10, 15 NIV).

4. God uses grief to help me grow.

God uses grief and even pain to help me become more like Christ, and he does it in three ways: God uses pain to get my attention (Romans 5:3-5), he brings good out of bad (Romans 8:28), and he prepares me for eternity (2 Corinthians 4:17-18).

5. God gives me the hope of heaven.

My life on this Earth is short, but if I trust Jesus Christ for my salvation, then I’ll have the hope of spending eternity in heaven with God. That hope will sustain me through my time of loss. The Bible says in 1 Thessalonians 4:13, “We don’t want you to be ignorant about those who have died. We don’t want you to grieve like other people who have no hope” (GW).

6. God uses my pain to help others.

This is called redemptive pain, and it is the highest and best use of the pain I go through. God does not want me to waste a hurt. “[God] comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us” (2 Corinthians 1:4 NLT).

I often wish I could escape troubles, the pain of grief, loss, sorrow, and failure; or even the small daily frustrations that constantly wear me down. What I'm learning is that God promises to be "close to the brokenhearted," to be my source of power, courage, and wisdom, helping me through my problems. Sometimes he chooses to deliver me from them. However, when trouble strikes, I shouldn’t be frustrated with God. Rather I need to admit that I need God's help and then thank him for being by my side.