In 2 Timothy 1:7 I read, “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them.” (TLB)
When I’m full of fear and anxiety, I won’t get close to others. Instead, I end up backing off. I fear being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used, and these fears cause me to disconnect from the people around me.
This fear is as old as humanity. When Adam and Eve sinned, God came looking for them. Then Adam said, “I was afraid . . . and I hid myself” (Genesis 3:10 ESV). People have been hiding ever since.
I may not be physically hiding, but I hide my true self. I don’t let people know what I’m really like. I don’t let them see inside me. Why? Because I believe that if I show people my true self and they don’t like it, I’ll be up a creek without a paddle. Instead, I pretend to be someone I’m not.
This fear leads to three things that will damage my relationships:
Fear makes me defensive. I’m afraid to reveal myself, but people inevitably spot some of my weaknesses. And when they point out those weaknesses, I defend myself and retaliate.
Fear keeps me distant. I’m afraid to be open and honest—to let people get close to me. Instead, I withdraw and pull back so I can hide my emotions. I become defensive and distant.
Fear makes me demanding. The more insecure I am, the more I try to control and dominate. For me, it might look like I always have to get the last word in a conversation. Being demanding is always a symptom of fear and insecurity.
Clearly, fear only damages my relationships. But where do I get the courage to take the first step to connect with someone and move toward deeper intimacy?
I get it from God’s Spirit in my life. Paul says in 2 Timothy 1:7, “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (TLB).
How do I know I’m filled with God’s Spirit? I’m filled with God’s Spirit when I’ve become more courageous in my relationships. Rather than fearing people, I’m free to love them and enjoy being with them.
The Bible says that “God is love” (1 John 4:8 TLB) and that “perfect love drives out all fear” (1 John 4:18 GNT). The more of God I have in my life, the less fear I’m going to have.
The starting point in connecting with anyone is to pause, pray, and say, “God, give me the courage to take the first step.” Am I ready to pray for one of my relationships today?
In summary, when I’m full of fear and anxiety, I won’t get close to others. I end up backing off. I fear being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used. These fears cause me to disconnect and hide my true self. I don’t let people know what I’m really like. I don’t let them see inside me. I believe that if I show people my true self and they don’t like it, I’ll be up a creek without a paddle. Instead, I pretend to be someone I’m not. This fear leads to three things that will damage my relationships: First fear makes me defensive. I’m afraid to reveal myself, but people inevitably spot some of my weaknesses. And when they point out those weaknesses, I defend myself and retaliate. Secondly fear keeps me distant. I’m afraid to be open and honest—to let people get close to me. Instead, I withdraw and pull back so I can hide my emotions. I become defensive and distant. And last fear makes me demanding. The more insecure I am, the more I try to control and dominate. Being demanding is always a symptom of fear and insecurity. So fear only damages my relationships. But where do I get the courage to take the first step to connect? I get it from God’s Spirit in my life. God does not want me to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them. I’m filled with God’s Spirit when I’ve become more courageous in my relationships. Rather than fearing people, I’m free to love them and enjoy being with them. God is love and perfect love drives out all fear. The more of God I have in my life, the less fear I’m going to have. The starting point in connecting with anyone is to pause, pray, and say, “God, give me the courage to take the first step.” Am I ready to do this?
In this chapter, Paul urged Timothy to be bold. If I allow people to intimidate me, I neutralize my effectiveness for God. The power of the Holy Spirit can help me overcome my fear of what some might say or do to me so that I can continue to do God's work. Paul mentions three characteristics of the effective Christian leader: power, love and self-discipline. These are available to me because the Holy Spirit lives in me. I am to follow his lead each day so that my life will more fully exhibit these characteristics. In this time of mounting persecution, Timothy may have been afraid to continue preaching the Good News. His fears were based on fact because believers were being arrested and executed. Paul told Timothy to expect suffering, Timothy, like Paul, would be jailed for preaching the Good News. But Paul promised Timothy that God would give him strength and that he would be ready when it was his turn to suffer. Even when there is no persecution, sharing my faith in Christ can be difficult. Fortunately, myself, like Paul and Timothy, can rely on the Holy Spirit to give me courage. Don't be ashamed to testify of my personal faith in Jesus Christ.
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