Forgive Because I've Been Forgiven

Forgive Because I've Been Forgiven

In Colossians 3:13 I read, “Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." (NLT)

When someone hurts me deeply, forgiveness probably isn’t my natural response. Instead, I may want to hold on to the hurt and to bitterness toward the person who caused me pain. But God calls me to forgive, to let go of the past, and release any bitterness toward the people who’ve hurt me.

In fact, the Bible gives three reasons I have to forgive. And those reasons have nothing to do with whether those people deserve my forgiveness or not.

I have to forgive those who’ve hurt me because God has forgiven me. Colossians 3:13 says, “Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others” (NLT).  

If I want to be a forgiving person, I first need to accept the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ. The Bible says that God came to Earth in human form in Jesus to forgive everything that’s ever been done wrong. Jesus paid for sin so I don’t have to. That’s the Good News.

I have to forgive those who’ve hurt me because, otherwise, resentment controls me. The Bible says in Ecclesiastes 7:9, “Only fools get angry quickly and hold a grudge” (CEV).

Resentment makes me miserable, and it keeps me stuck in the past. And when I’m stuck in the past, I am controlled by the past. Every time I resent something, it controls me. Am I allowing someone who hurt me five, 10, or even 20 years ago to continue hurting me today? Make the choice right now to not continue to be hurt by what happened years ago. My past is past. I’ve got to let it go.

I have to forgive those who’ve hurt me because I’m going to need more forgiveness in the future. Jesus said in Matthew 6:14-15, “For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” (NIV).

Forgiveness is a two-way street. I cannot receive what I am unwilling to give. Someone once told John Wesley, “I could never forgive that person!” Wesley replied, “Then I hope you never sin.”

When hurts run deep, forgiveness is hard. But remember that I have three big reasons to forgive: God has already forgiven me, I don’t want to let resentment control me, and I will continue to need forgiveness in the future.

Choose to live in the freedom of forgiveness today.

In summary, when I’m hurt deeply, forgiveness isn’t my natural response. I want to hold on to the hurt and to bitterness toward the person. But God calls me to forgive, to let go of the past, and release any bitterness toward the people who’ve hurt me. The Bible gives three reasons I have to forgive. And those reasons have nothing to do with whether those people deserve my forgiveness or not. Forgive, because God has forgiven me. Accept the forgiveness of God through Jesus Christ. God came to Earth in human form in Jesus to forgive everything that’s ever been done wrong. Jesus paid for sin so I don’t have to. Forgive those who’ve hurt me, otherwise, resentment controls me. Resentment makes me miserable, and it keeps me stuck in the past. Every time I resent something, it controls me. So I need to make the choice right now to not continue to be hurt by what happened years ago. I have to forgive those who’ve hurt me because I’m going to need more forgiveness in the future. I cannot receive what I am unwilling to give. When hurts run deep, forgiveness is hard. I have three big reasons to forgive: God has already forgiven me, I don’t want to let resentment control me, and I will continue to need forgiveness in the future. Choose to live in the freedom of forgiveness today.

The key to forgiving others is remembering how much God has forgiven me. It should be so difficult to forgive someone who has wrong me a little when God has forgiven me for so much. Realize that God's infinite love and forgiveness can help me love and forgive others. Let God worry about the wrongs I've suffered. Don't quench my life in bitter feuding; live renewed in love and joy. 

I Don’t Have to Forget

In Romans 8:28 I read, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (NIV)

There is a very common phrase, “Forgive and forget.” There’s only one problem with it: I’m not able to do it. It’s impossible!

I really can’t forget a hurt in my life. In fact, there’s no reason to try. When I’m trying to forget, I'm actually focusing on the very thing I want to forget.  

What I’m learning is that forgetting is not what God wants me to do. Instead, he wants me to trust him and see how he can bring good out of the hurt. That’s more important than forgetting because it allows me to thank God for the good that he eventually brings from the situation. I can’t thank God for things I forget.

Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (NIV).

The Bible doesn’t say that all things are good, because all things are not good. Cancer is not good. Disease is not good. Divorce is not good. War is not good. Abuse is not good. Many things in life are evil. Not everything that happens in this world is God’s will.

But God says he will work good out of the bad things in my life if I will trust him. When I come to him and say, “God, I give you all the pieces of my life,” he will exchange my pieces for his peace. He gives me peace in my heart that comes from knowing that—even if I don’t understand the hurt in my life—I can still forgive, knowing that God will use that pain for good.

So, I don’t have to forget the wrong thing that someone did to me. Instead, I need to rely on God to help me forgive, and then see how he will bring good out of my hurt.  

In summary, there is a very common phrase, “Forgive and forget.” There’s only one problem with it: I’m not able to do it. I really can’t forget a hurt in my life. There’s no reason to try. When I’m trying to forget, I'm actually focusing on the very thing I want to forget. What I’m learning is that forgetting is not what God wants me to do. He wants me to trust him and see how he can bring good out of the hurt. That’s more important than forgetting because it allows me to thank God for the good that he eventually brings from the situation. I can’t thank God for things I forget. The Bible doesn’t say that all things are good. Many things in life are evil. Not everything that happens in this world is God’s will. But God says he will work good out of the bad things in my life if I will trust him. When I give him all the pieces of my life,” he will exchange my pieces for his peace. He gives me peace in my heart that comes from knowing that—even if I don’t understand the hurt—I can still forgive, knowing that God will use that pain for good. I don’t have to forget the wrong thing that someone did to me. I need to rely on God to help me forgive, and then see how he will bring good out of my hurt.  

God works in "everything", not just isolated incidents, for my good. God is not working to make me happy, but to fulfill his purpose. I am learning to trust in God and not in life's treasures, my security is in heaven, not on earth. My faith should not waver in pain and persecution, because I know that God is with me. 

What Forgiveness Really Is

In Luke 23:34 I read, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." (NIV)

Forgiveness may be the most misused, misapplied, and misunderstood quality in our culture. I may think I know what forgiveness is all about, but, if I’m like most, I really don’t.

Here’s a quick quiz to help me gauge my understanding of forgiveness; decide if each statement is true or false.

1. A person should not be forgiven until they ask for it.

2. Forgiving includes minimizing the offense and the pain caused.

3. Forgiveness includes restoring trust and reuniting a relationship.

4. You haven’t really forgiven until you’ve forgotten the offense.

5. When you see somebody hurt, it is my duty to forgive the offender.

When I read the Bible and learn what God has to say about forgiveness, I discover that all five of those statements above are false.

Since I may not really understand forgiveness, I’ll be spending the next few days looking at what forgiveness really is.

To start with, first, real forgiveness is unconditional. There are no requirements attached to it. I don’t earn it. I don’t deserve it. I don’t bargain for it. Forgiveness is not based on a promise to never do it again. I offer forgiveness to somebody whether they ask for it or not.

When Jesus stretched out his hands on the cross and said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” nobody had asked for it (Luke 23:34 NIV). Nobody had said, “Jesus, please forgive me for what we’re doing to you.” He just offered it. He took the initiative.

Second, forgiveness isn’t minimizing the seriousness of the offense. When somebody asks for my forgiveness and I say, “It’s no big deal. It really didn’t hurt,” that actually cheapens forgiveness. If the offense wasn’t a big deal, then I wouldn’t need to ask for or offer forgiveness.

Forgiveness is for the big stuff. I don’t use it for slights that are just minor issues; life’s small slights just require patience and acceptance. It’s life’s big wrongs that require forgiveness—and those wrongs shouldn’t be minimized. If an offense was a big deal, admit that it was. And then forgive, or ask for forgiveness.

Understanding forgiveness is the first step to living it out. So the next time I’ve offended someone, or have been offended myself, remember these two things: First, forgiveness is unconditional. And, second, forgiveness never minimizes the wrong.

In summary, forgiveness may be the most misused, misapplied, and misunderstood quality in our culture. I may think I know what forgiveness is, but, if I’m like most, I really don’t. Here’s a quick quiz to help me gauge my understanding:

1. A person should not be forgiven until they ask for it.

2. Forgiving includes minimizing the offense and the pain caused.

3. Forgiveness includes restoring trust and reuniting a relationship.

4. You haven’t really forgiven until you’ve forgotten the offense.

5. When you see somebody hurt, it is my duty to forgive the offender.

When I read the Bible and learn what God has to say about forgiveness, I discover that all five of those statements above are false. To start with, first, real forgiveness is unconditional. There are no requirements attached to it. I don’t earn, deserve, or bargain for it. Forgiveness is not based on a promise to never do it again. I offer forgiveness to somebody whether they ask for it or not. When Jesus stretched out his hands on the cross and said, “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing,” nobody had asked for it. Nobody had said, “Jesus, please forgive me for what we’re doing to you.” He just offered it. He took the initiative. Second, forgiveness isn’t minimizing the seriousness of the offense. When somebody asks for my forgiveness and I say, “It’s no big deal or It really didn’t hurt,” that actually cheapens forgiveness. If the offense wasn’t a big deal, then I wouldn’t need to ask for or offer forgiveness. Forgiveness is for the big stuff. I don’t use it for slights that are just minor issues; life’s small slights just require patience and acceptance. It’s life’s big wrongs that require forgiveness—and those wrongs shouldn’t be minimized. Understanding forgiveness is the first step to living it out. The next time I’ve offended someone, or have been offended myself, remember first, forgiveness is unconditional. And, second, forgiveness never minimizes the wrong.

Jesus asked God to forgive the people who were putting him to death, Jewish leaders, Roman politicians and soldiers, bystanders, and God answered that prayer by opening up the way of salvation even to Jesus' murderers. Jesus was suffering the most horrible, painful death ever devised by a sinful man, and he looked at the people responsible for his suffering and prayed for their forgiveness. The Roman officer and soldiers who witnessed the Crucifixion said, "This many truly was the Son of God!" Soon many priests were converted to the Christian faith. Because I am a sinner, I too played a part in putting Jesus to death. The Good News is that God is gracious. He will forgive us and give us new life through his Son.