In 1 John 4:18 I read, “Love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid . . . this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love." (NLT)
Insecurity ruins relationships. But when I open my life to others, even though they could potentially hurt me, I’ll come alive in ways I’ve never experienced before.
Insecurity ruins relationships, because it prevents intimacy. I long to, but I also fear being close. I long to have intimacy with others, but it also scares me to death.
I can’t get close to someone if there’s fear in the relationship. This is why living together doesn’t work in the long run. There’s no lifetime commitment. You never know when somebody is going to walk out.
But fear vanishes, and intimacy, real intimacy, rises when two people say, “We’re committed no matter what. We’re going to make this thing work.”
In relationships, I fear that others may find out what I’m really like, so I hide myself. This is the oldest fear, all the way back to Adam, the first man. He said, “I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid” (Genesis 3:10 NIV).
When I’m afraid, I get insecure and hide who I am. I cover up, not just physically but emotionally. I build walls around myself and pretend to be someone I’m not.
On the other hand, love builds relationships. The Bible says in 1 John 4:18, “Love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If we are afraid . . . this shows that we have not fully experienced his perfect love” (NLT). Love takes the focus off me and puts the focus on the other person.
People often ask pastors: “Do you ever get nervous talking in front of a lot of people?” Of course we do! But the minute we think about how much we love our people, instead of being worried about what they think of our clothes or car or speaking style, fear goes out the back door.
But the only way to love others is to realize that God loves me more than I can ever imagine. Suddenly, I don’t have to prove myself to anyone anymore, and my identity and self-worth aren’t caught up in what others think. Instead, they’re caught up in my relationship with Jesus.
I may have experienced some relational disasters in my life. Welcome to the human race. But in order to open up to others and fight insecurity, God wants me to first open up to Jesus, letting him fill me with his love so I can share it with others.
In summary, love has no fear, because perfect love expels all fear. If I’m afraid, it shows that I have not fully experienced his perfect love. When I open my life to others, even though they could potentially hurt me, I’ll come alive in ways I’ve never experienced before. Insecurity ruins relationships, because it prevents intimacy. I long for, but fear being close. I long to have intimacy, but it also scares me to death. I can’t get close if there’s fear in the relationship. In relationships, I fear that others may find out what I’m really like, so I hide myself. When I’m afraid, I get insecure and hide who I am. I cover up, and build walls around myself and pretend to be someone I’m not. On the other hand, love builds relationships. Love takes the focus off me and puts the focus on the other person. The only way to love others is to realize that God loves me more than I can ever imagine. I don’t have to prove myself, and my identity and self-worth aren’t caught up in what others think. Instead, they’re caught up in my relationship with Jesus. I may have experienced some relational disasters. But in order to open up to others and fight insecurity, God wants me to first open up to Jesus, letting him fill me with his love so I can share it with others.
Father, thank you for Your Word and Jesus as my savior and example. You want me and I need you in my life. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can always believe in, have faith in and can trust you in everything. This includes being the authority for my life, the source of my self-worth and my hope for the future. You have my best interests in mind. So I ask you to help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. Help me to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me.
Father, If I am ever afraid of the future, eternity, or God's judgment, I can remind myself of God's love. I know that he loves me perfectly. I can resolve my fears first by focusing on his immeasurable love for me, and then by allowing him to love others through me. His love will quiet my fears and give me confidence.
Today, I ask you for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, and doing well and making a difference in my new job. I pray all these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.
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