Anger Yields Anger, Wisdom Yields Patience

In Proverbs 19:11 I read, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.” (NIV)

Hurt people will hurt others. When someone hurts me, it’s because they’ve been hurt. Unkind people don’t feel kindness themselves. Unloving people feel unloved.

When someone is rude, bitter, unkind, sarcastic, mean-spirited, or arrogant, they are shouting with all of their behaviors, “I am in pain! I need massive doses of love! I do not feel secure!”

Secure, loved people don’t act that way. The person who feels deeply loved and deeply secure is generous and gracious to others.

So how should I respond when someone hurts me? For many people, the knee-jerk response is anger.

Here’s a widely held belief: I have only a set amount of anger in my life. When that “bucket” of anger is full, it needs to be poured out, to be expressed. Then, when the bucket is empty, it is thought to be a sense of relief.

If I believe this, I’ll struggle with anger for the rest of my life. The truth is that I don’t have just a bucket of anger. I have an entire anger factory! That factory can keep on producing and producing and producing. When I get rid of the anger I have, I’ll get more. In fact, the more anger I throw out, the more it produces.

Study after study has shown that aggression only creates more aggression. Angry outbursts lead to more anger, and soon anger becomes a habitual pattern.

So I can’t just pour my anger out; that anger bucket will just refill. Instead, I need to let it go.

Proverbs 19:11 says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (NIV).

When my goal is to just get even, I’m no better than my opponent. To respond wisely instead, overlook offenses. Look past a person’s words to their pain. Offer love and patience.

When someone hurts me, I have a choice. I can respond in anger, which will only create more anger. Or I can respond wisely in love, overlooking offenses and overcoming evil with good.

In summary, a person’s wisdom will yield patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense. Hurt people will hurt others. When someone hurts me, it’s because they’ve been hurt. When someone is rude, bitter, unkind, sarcastic, mean-spirited, or arrogant, they are shouting with all of their behaviors, “I am in pain! I do not feel secure!” Secure, loved people don’t act that way. The person who feels deeply loved and deeply secure is generous and gracious to others. How should I respond when someone hurts me? The knee-jerk response is anger. A widely held belief is that: I have only a set amount of anger in my life. When that “bucket” of anger is full, it needs to be poured out, to be expressed. Then, when the bucket is empty, it is thought to be a sense of relief. If I believe this, I’ll struggle with anger for the rest of my life. The truth is that I don’t have just a bucket of anger. I have an entire anger factory! When I get rid of the anger, I’ll get more. In fact, the more anger I throw out, the more it produces. So I can’t just pour my anger out; the anger bucket will just refill. Instead, I need to let it go. When my goal is to just get even, I’m no better than my opponent. To respond wisely instead, overlook offenses. Look past a person’s words to their pain. Offer love and patience. So, I have a choice. I can respond in anger. Or I can respond wisely in love, overlooking offenses and overcoming evil with good.

Father, I need you. Please give me Your strength for today and remind me in little ways that I can believe in, have faith and can trust you in everything, including being the authority for my life, my self-worth and my future. You have my best interests in mind. Help me to embrace the way you’ve made me; my gifting and passions. I want to serve and fulfill the mission you have in mind for me. Father, I want to be sensible and control my anger and overlook wrongs done to me. My response should be to love. I ask for wisdom and guidance in this and for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, my preparation for my future job role and for leading a small group. I ask and pray these things through you Son Jesus’ name, Amen.