In Ephesians 4:15 I read, “Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.” (NLT)
Christians often use the truth as a weapon. But the Bible never says God wants me to use the truth as a club. He doesn’t want me to beat people up theologically, politically, or personally. I must use the truth tactfully, in other words, use truth in love.
“Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church” (Ephesians 4:15 NLT).
Think of somebody that I would like to help make a change. I need to realize people change faster and more easily when the truth is wrapped in love. Without love, truth is always seen as an attack. If I say something offensively, It’s going to be received defensively. I’m never going to get anywhere!
Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (NIV).
If it’s not helpful, don’t say it. If it’s only for my benefit, don’t say it. If I want to just get something off your chest, don’t say that I’m speaking the truth in love. If I want to put somebody down and club somebody with the truth, don’t say that I’m speaking the truth in love.
Speak only what is helpful for building people up according to their needs, so that it benefits them. Those are the qualifications of speaking the truth in love.
Now, just because I’m ready to share the truth doesn’t mean the other person is ready to hear it. Ask myself if someone is ready to receive a truth; that’s part of loving them. The Bible says, “Thoughtless words can wound as deeply as any sword, but wisely spoken words can heal” (Proverbs 12:18 GNT).
Do you want to heal, or do you want to wound? Do you want to help, or do you want to hurt? When I’m in a conflict, the solution is not deception but tact. I have a choice to either hurt or heal, to either make a point or make an enemy.
How do I know when I’m speaking the truth in love? It’s pretty simple: Just ask yourself for who benefits from saying something. If I’m speaking the truth for someone else’s benefit, then God will honor my words and use them for good.
In summary, speak the truth in love, and grow in every way more and more like Christ. I can often use the truth as a weapon. But the Bible never says God wants me to use the truth as a club. I must use the truth tactfully, use truth in love. People change faster and more easily when the truth is wrapped in love. Without love, truth is always seen as an attack. Also, If it’s not helpful, don’t say it. If it’s only for my benefit, then don’t say it. If I want to just get something off my chest, don’t say that I’m speaking the truth in love. If I want to put somebody down and club somebody with the truth, don’t say that I’m speaking the truth in love. Instead, speak only what is helpful for building people up according to their needs, so that it benefits them. Those are the qualifications of speaking the truth in love. In addition, just because I’m ready to share the truth doesn’t mean the other person is ready to hear it. Ask myself if someone is ready to receive the truth; that’s part of loving them. When I’m in a conflict, the solution is not deception but tact. I have a choice to either hurt or heal, to either make a point or make an enemy. How do I know when I’m speaking the truth in love? Just ask myself who benefits from me saying something. If I’m speaking the truth for someone else’s benefit, then God will honor my words and use them for good.
As a follower of Christ, I must be committed to the truth. This means that both my words and actions should reflect Christ's integrity. Speaking the truth in love is not always easy, convenient, or pleasant, but it is necessary to do Christ's work in the world. Speaking the truth sounds simple, but it is hard to do. I may be good at times in speaking the truth, but forget to be loving. Then at times I'm good at loving, but don't have it in me to level with others if the truth is painful. The instruction here is to do both. Father I thank you for this reminder from this verse and Ephesians 4:29. I ask with the help of the Holy Spirit to make this part of who I am daily. I ask you also for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership, my interactions with others, my future job role and leading a small group. I pray these things through your Son Jesus’ name, Amen.
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