Learn to Listen Before Trying to Solve Anything

In Proverbs 18:13 I read, “The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him.” (CSB)

One of my natural inclinations is that I like to fix things. When I see a problem, I want to quickly jump to how I can solve it so I can move on. But God wants me to be a feeler before becoming a fixer. He wants me to feel someone’s pain before I try to solve the problem.

“The one who gives an answer before he listens—this is foolishness and disgrace for him” (Proverbs 18:13 CSB).

I may be barely into a conversation before I think, “I know how to fix this.” But that’s not loving. People don’t care what I know until they know that I care. They want to feel heard. They want to feel loved. They want to feel understood.

There is healing in sharing. My ear is a healing tool God can use if I’ll learn to listen without trying to fix anything.

When Jesus hears that his friend Lazarus is sick, he takes three days to travel what should have taken less than a day. By the time Jesus arrives, Lazarus is dead. His sisters are grieving and tell Jesus that, if he had come sooner, Lazarus would not have died.

Jesus’ delay might seem callous, but he has a plan: He doesn’t want to heal Lazarus. He wants to raise him from the dead to show he, Jesus, is the Son of God. He already knew the solution before Lazarus even got sick.

“Jesus saw her weeping, and he saw how the people with her were weeping also; his heart was touched, and he was deeply moved. ‘Where have you buried him?’ he asked them. ‘Come and see, Lord,’ they answered. Jesus wept” (John 11:33-35 GNT).

Jesus is not unconcerned about their pain. When he sees everybody around him grieving, he mirrors it. He enters into it. Jesus knows the solution, but it doesn’t keep him from sharing their grief. He shares their feelings, not his solution.

I may know the solution, but I need to hold off. If I’m going to be a great listener, I’ve got to listen to someone’s feelings and enter into that person’s pain.

In summary, one who gives an answer before he listens is foolishness and only brings disgrace to himself. My natural inclination is to fix things. I want to quickly jump to how I can solve it. But God wants me to be a feeler before becoming a fixer. He wants me to feel someone’s pain before I try to solve the problem. People don’t care what I know until they know that I care. They want to feel heard. They want to feel loved. They want to feel understood. There is healing in sharing. My ear is a healing tool God can use if I’ll learn to listen without trying to fix anything. So, while I may know the solution, I need to hold off. I’ve got to listen to someone’s feelings and enter into that person’s pain first.

This is another great reminder for me as I seek to help and serve others. I need to become compassionate and listen. I need to take time. Father I ask with the Holy Spirit to incorporate this into my life. I also pray for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership and my interactions with others. Father I commit myself to trusting you for the outcome in my future job. In your will and your timing you will place me where you want me, to not only be of service and help, but to learn from the experience.  These things I pray in your Son Jesus’ name, amen.