Seek to Understand Before Being Understood

As I read Philippians 2:4-5 this morning, I'm reminded  “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had.” (NLT)

Paul encourages me to guard against any selfishness, prejudice, or jealousy that might lead to dissension. Showing genuine interest in others is a positive step forward in maintaining unity. Jesus was humble, willing to give up his rights in order to obey God and serve people. Like Christ, I should have a servant's attitude, serving out of love for God and for others, and not out of guilt or fear. I can choose my attitude. I can approach life expecting to be served or I can look for opportunities to serve others.

When I’m in conflict, the loving and Christlike way to defuse the tension is to seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Try to figure out what the other person is thinking and saying before I start trying to convince them of my side. I cannot hope to be understood until I am willing to do the same for others.

Proverbs 18:13 says, “A person who answers without listening is foolish and disgraceful” (ICB).

I need to be careful when I get so busy trying to get people to see it my way, that I may not stop to listen to what they are saying.

That’s why I need to say, “You go first.” And then, after they’ve shared, I say, “Now, let me see if I understand. You’re saying (repeat to them what you understood they were communicating to you). Did I get this right?” That gives them a chance to correct and not just be understood but also feel understood.

Seeking to understand first also allows me to see the other person’s perspective. Today’s verse in Philippians 2:4-5 reminds me, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had” (NLT).

We’re in the thick of a pandemic filled with a lot of heated discussion around the best way to move forward. Everyone has their own perspective, but it seems like no one is willing see anyone else’s perspective. All we can see is our own side of things.

If I”m not willing to seek to understand and acknowledge other perspectives, I’m not going to be able to see the hurt of other people. I won’t see their fear, their pain, or the injustice they’ve faced.

That is not the way of Jesus Christ. He was always looking beyond himself to the needs of others. Even on the cross, he was thinking of others.

It’s not easy to think of others before myself. It certainly isn’t natural. I am, by nature, a self-centered person. Left to my own devices, I will always choose to look out for myself before I look out for others.

Only Jesus can change my perspective. Only Jesus can make me more interested in someone else’s interests than in my own. When I take on the character of Christ, the desire to understand before being understood becomes more natural. Only then can I work through conflict as I think of others before myself.

In summary, I am to have the same attitude that Christ had and not look out only for my own interests, but take an interest in others. In these verses, Paul encourages me to guard against any selfishness, prejudice, or jealousy that might lead to dissension. Showing genuine interest in others is a positive step forward in maintaining unity. Like Christ, I should have a servant's attitude, serving out of love for God and for others. I can approach life expecting to be served or I can look for opportunities to serve. When I’m in conflict, the loving and Christlike way to defuse the tension is to seek to understand before seeking to be understood. Try to figure out what the other person is thinking and saying before I start trying to convince them of my side. I cannot hope to be understood until I am willing to do the same for others. I need to say, “You go first.” And then, after they’ve shared, I say, “Now, let me see if I understand. You’re saying (repeat to them what you understood they were communicating to you). Did I get this right?” That gives them a chance to correct and not just be understood but also feel understood. Seeking to understand first also allows me to see the other person’s perspective. If I”m not willing to seek to understand and acknowledge other perspectives, I’m not going to be able to see the hurt of other people. I won’t see their fear, their pain, or the injustice they’ve faced. By nature, I’m a self-centered person and only Jesus can change my perspective. Only Jesus can make me more interested in someone else’s interests than in my own. When I take on the character of Christ, the desire to understand before being understood becomes more natural. 

This morning's devotion has helped remind me that I need to seek first to understand, then be understood. Someone won’t know how I care until I listen and they feel as if they are understood. I must confess that often it’s natural to think about what I’m going to say next instead of truly listening to what someone has said. To truly show I care, I need to focus on what they say, then be able to provide my perspective.

Father I pray that with the help of the Holy Spirit in my life that I’m reminded of this when these situations come. Now that they have officially opened the position, I also pray this morning for the opportunity to work with this other organization that I have talked briefly to before. If it be your will allow me to become part of that organization where I can learn and be of service to. I also pray for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, and my interactions with others. These things I ask and pray through your Son Jesus’ name, amen.