Being Wise with My Words

In James 3:5-6, he says  “The tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. A great forest can be set on fire by one tiny spark. And the tongue . . . can turn our whole lives into a blazing flame of destruction and disaster.” (TLB)

What I say and don't say are both important. I must not only say the right words at the right time, but also control my desire to say what I shouldn't. Before I speak, ask, "Is what I want to say true, necessary or kind? My uncontrolled tongue can do terrible damage. The enemy can use it to pit one against another. Idle and hateful words are damaging because they spread destruction quickly, and no one can stop the results once they are spoken. So don't be careless with what I say, thinking I can apologize later, because even if I do, the scars remain. Words can be like fire, I can neither control nor reverse the damage they can do.

When I lack self-control, I’m vulnerable to all kinds of problems. Anything out of control in my life can harm others and damage close relationships. Uncontrolled anger, lust, addiction, spending, drinking, or ambition can create enormous problems.

The greatest destroyer of relationships is an uncontrolled tongue. The average person has about 30 conversations a day. That would mean I spend around one-fifth of my life talking. At some point, my mouth will probably get me into trouble. James compares the tongue to a tiny spark because that’s all that is needed to create a great forest fire. A careless word can ignite relationships and make them all go up in smoke.

Gossip is especially destructive because it spreads like an airborne virus. Careless words have destroyed careers, friendships, and families.

Instead of heading in a destructive direction, I can choose to use my words to build others up. Catch people doing something right and tell them about it. Affirm their character when they make difficult decisions. Lift them up with words of encouragement.

Building others up with my words isn’t difficult, but in this world, it is uncommon. I reflect God’s glory in a dark world when I control my mouth and build others up.

In summary, my tongue is a small thing, but what enormous damage it can do. It can turn my whole life into a blazing flame of destruction and disaster. Before I speak, I should consider, "Is what I want to say true, necessary or kind? Idle and hateful words are damaging because they spread destruction quickly, and no one can stop the results once they are spoken. I can neither control nor reverse the damage they can do. Anything out of control in my life can harm others and damage close relationships. The greatest destroyer of relationships is an uncontrolled tongue. A careless word can ignite relationships and make them go up in smoke. Gossip is especially destructive because it spreads like an airborne virus. Rather than be destructive, I can choose to use my words to build others up. I can catch people doing something right and tell them about it. Affirm their character when they make difficult decisions. Lift them up with words of encouragement. I reflect God’s glory in a dark world when I control my mouth and build others up.

Father, this is a good reminder for me to continue to incorporate into my life and daily routines. I need to be careful to not destroy, but rather to build up. This should help in my relationships with others, not only verbally but in emails and chat messages. I pray with the Holy Spirit's help to be encouraging when you’re tempted to be critical. To avoid gossip that is so destructive. Help me come up with an “exit” plan for how I can avoid leaning into and participating in gossip. I also ask you for wisdom and guidance for my day, my work, my leadership and my interactions with others. I ask these things in your Son Jesus’ name, amen.