What Fear Will Do To Relationships

In review of 2 Timothy 1:7 it says, “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them.”

Bottom line:

God has not given us a spirit of fear, rather he fills us with power, love and self-control.

What this means to me:

God has given me the gift of his Spirit, and this Spirit doesn’t want me to be afraid of others, but be strong, show love and exhibit self-control.

If I want to connect with someone, I’ve got to be willing to take the first step. This often takes courage, because it’s fear that disconnects human beings. When I’m experiencing fear and anxiety, it’s difficult to get close to others. My tendency is to back off. I believe this is because I'm afraid of being rejected, manipulated, vulnerable, hurt, or used. Fears of which cause me to be disconnected in life.

This fear can be traced back to when Adam and Eve sinned and God came looking for Adam, Adam said, “I was afraid, and I hid.” Seems we have been doing this ever since. Being afraid, we hide our true selves. We don’t let people know what we’re really like, because if we do and they don’t like us, we face rejection.

Fear will do three bad things for relationships:

First, fear will make me defensive. When others point out my weaknesses, I often retaliate and defend myself.

Second, fear keeps me distant. I don’t let people get close. I withdraw. I hide my emotions.

Lastly, fear makes me demanding. The more insecure I am, the more I try to control things. I try to have the last word in a relationship. I try to dominate.

So where can I get the courage to take the first step to connect with someone and get into a deeper level of intimacy?

I get it from God’s Spirit already present in my life. The Bible says, “For the Holy Spirit, God’s gift, does not want you to be afraid of people, but to be wise and strong, and to love them and enjoy being with them” (2 Timothy 1:7 TLB).

I’ll know when I’m filled with God’s Spirit, when I get more courageous in my relationships. I love and enjoy being with people. I’m not afraid of them, because God’s Spirit is in my life. The Bible says “God is love” and “Love casts out all fear.” The more of God I have in my life, the less fear I’m going to have in life.

So today, I need to proceed knowing that I have God’s Spirit in me who wants me to be have courage, be bold and reach out to others. I don’t want to be defensive, distant or controlling. Today I pray God for the courage to take the first step toward growth in this area today.