How To Love Those Who Seem Unlovable

In review of Philippians 1:7a, it says, “It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart.”

Bottom Line:

Those that we include in our life, have a special place in our hearts.

What this means to me:

Those that I have chosen to include in my life, have a special place in my heart.

I have learned that if people are not on my heart, they’re likely on my nerves. If you I don’t specifically have someone in my heart, they’ll end up getting on my nerves.

This is probably a strong reason why so many marriages are crumbling. They are reacting to each other from their minds rather than their hearts. When someone tells you something, it’s better to listen to them, than to brush it off as an annoyance.

True love from the heart begins with understanding why others feel the way they do. This means I should ask questions, and then listen. I need to hear the hurt, and look for the problems. I need to understand the moods of the people closest to me, and why they act the way they do. If I care, I’ll be aware.

So this begs the question, “how do I love people when, I find them unlovable?”

“God can testify how I long for all of you with the affection of Christ Jesus” (Philippians 1:8 NIV). What I’m learning is that in Greek, the word “affection” is the word for intestines. In Greek society, people thought that the seat of the emotions was in your stomach and your liver.

Rick Warren explained that, “Paul was saying, ‘I’ve got a gut feeling of love for you.’ That is not a natural kind of love. It is a supernatural kind of love. That’s why Paul said it’s not from himself, but it’s the affection of Christ Jesus.” Natural human love wears out and dries up and dies on the vine. The only kind of love that lasts in spite of heartache and difficulty in tough circumstances is God’s love, the affection of Jesus Christ.

So how can I obtain this kind of “gut” love? Romans 5, says “God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us” (Romans 5:5b). God’s love is not something I work up. It is something that is poured into me by the Holy Spirit as I let him live in me day by day.

So in order to keep someone from really annoying me, I need to really learn how to care about them and thus have them in my heart. This morning I thank you Father for the reminder that in order for me to truly love, that I need to take a genuine interest in someone. This is especially true for those who seem unlovable to me. Today I need to consider those that seem unlovable to me. I need to better understand their feelings and thoughts so that I can learn what their needs and concerns are. This will allowing me more compassion for their situation, learn how to pray for them and turn a “getting on my nerves” into a genuine concern for them.