Being Tender Without Surrender

In review of Proverbs 19:11 it says, “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense.”

Bottom Line:

It’s wise to be patient and show what you are like by forgiving others.

What this means to me:Wisdom and sensibility bring patience and allow me to control my temper. Whenever I”m wronged it would be a great virtue to overlook it, forgiving regardless of the offense/insult.  Doing so will show what I’m really like. There will always be people in my life who will want their way. They’ve got a right way and a wrong way to do something, and my way is always the wrong way. When I don’t meet their standards, they’re going to let me know about it. And it always seems I can never quite please them. The best way to handle them is to follow what scripture tells me, patience will come from my perspective: “A person’s wisdom yields patience; it is to one’s glory to overlook an offense” (Proverbs 19:11 NIV). The more I understand a person, their backgrounds, battles, and burdens, the more patient I’m going to be with him. I often look at people and say, “Look how far they have to go.” But I don’t always stop and ponder, “How far have they’ve come.” Perhaps they were raised in a family where they had no model of kindness or courtesy. Maybe they grew up in a very dysfunctional home, and it’s a miracle, really, that they made it this far. I may not be considering what possible burdens are they carrying. They may be sick. They may have a family issue. They may have just lost their job. There are all kinds of battles and burdens people carry that I don’t know about. Proverbs 19:11 tells me to overlook offenses. So today,I need to consider today how I handle offenses, will I overlook them or am I going to be offended by them. Will I be so touchy and irritable that anybody who looks at me funny or forgets to say something or doesn’t see me offends me? Love lets it all of this go. The Bible says, “Do to others as you would have them do to you” (Luke 6:31). Love is understanding, not demanding, it’s what I would want others to do to me when I’m having a bad day or I don’t feel well or I’m carrying heavy burdens. This doesn’t mean that I’m just to let people run over me, or push me around. I do not need to act like a doormat, cave in, and let them say whatever they want. The key is to be tender without surrender. Jesus had never caved in to manipulators who were extremely demanding and legalistic. They had all kinds of demands that they themselves couldn’t even keep. But Jesus did not let demanding people push him into a corner. He was tender without surrender. That’s called love in action. Today I will attempt to spend time considering what people around me might be struggling with, or perhaps even take the time to ask them. This will help me provide grace. Today I’ll will attempt to change my response to other in order to be tender without surrender.